I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
