Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
