AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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