But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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