craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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