Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
