Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
