do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
