I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
