shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
A bitchslap is in order.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
