I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
