you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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