oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
