there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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