wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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