The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
