I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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