I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
