If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
