are you still at the devil's house?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
