he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
