No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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