Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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