she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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