brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
