Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
