Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
