i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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