How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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