i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You may now shotgun with the bride
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
