Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
