Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
