Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
