its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
