and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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