Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
