my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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