it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
