just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
