I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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