yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So many bounce houses so little time
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
