rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
