Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
