He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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