Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
