I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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