Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize