he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
