I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
