Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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