What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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