With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
