So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize