am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
