WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
