I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize