Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
