you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
