If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
