Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
