You're so nebulous sometimes
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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