But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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